Children dear, you are the joy of the
world!
Let us make it abundant! Smile…
Back to the Basics – Forge Close Bonds with Your Children
“Times
have changed and we are passing through a period when we need to forge closest
bonding possible with our children and more so with our adolescents. To bring
out the best in our children, we should let our children bathe and splash in
the pool of parental love. It is often said, ‘excess ghee will not spoil the
kheer.’ Love will not spoil your son. It is the failure to discipline him that
spoils him.
When your
little daughter of four spills milk on the floor for the third time, you become
angry. You feel like giving her a nice spanking. But, wait a moment. Instead,
why not hand her a towel and a mug of water and ask her to clean up the floor?
Let her feel the pinch of cleaning up the mess. Likewise, when your son breaks
the flower vase, give him the adhesive and tools to fix it. When he fumbles,
you can step in and give a hand. When children are made to feel the burden
involved in remedying wrong, it will make them think.
All the
same, when your little son falls down from a forbidden staircase and cries out
in pain, never commit the blunder of giving him a bonus beating; he is taking
his lessons for defying his mom already. Now what he needs is your comforting.
Overdose of discipline can backfire with bitter results.
Well
then, as your son grows, he needs freedom. But how to dispense it? Concede him
freedom in small doses, yet ensure that he uses it in a responsible way.
Compliments and commendations are the best catalysts for sound emotional
growth. Children crave for them.
Yet,
there is the risk of children becoming one-sided or skewed personalities.
Sensible balancing initiatives on the part of parents can make them
well-rounded, balanced and complete human beings. Take your son to the huts and
cottages of poor people around you who struggle to make a living as also to the
bungalows of your rich neighbours. Let him see how you socialize with people
big and small assigning honour to both. You are training him in fairness in
dealing with others.
Let your
daughter learn how to tie the electric fuse and wash the car from her father
while your son learns to cook and do the dishes from his mother. In future, as
husbands and wives, they will be more accommodative to their mates. Let your
son play with his peers. But train him up to cut across the age barrier and
mingle with those of his parents’ age with ease. Make him unlearn the habit of
making fun of others, but learn that admiring others for their strengths.
Create an atmosphere at home where your adolescent feels free to ask you anything
under the sun without the least inhibitions. If you care, sure enough, your
children will get a firm footing in emotional maturity that will safeguard them
from many a pitfall in future.
Remember,
life’s most important lessons are not discussed in classrooms. Parents have to
teach their children these lessons extra-curricular. How to live with little
and still be happy and content, how to make failure a blessing, how to prevent
success from getting into one’s head, how to endure pressures with resilience,
how to stand by one’s principles without offending others, how to build up
friendship in an unfriendly environment, how to find more happiness in giving
than in receiving.
Life has
taught us many lessons; often we learn them the hard way. Our children need not
start all over again – let them draw from what we have learnt and steer their
destiny. Whether you are a father or mother, by word and deed, play out your
role as the mentor of your child. No one can take your place, the role is
unique and non-negotiable.” [V Mathew Cherian, The New Indian Express,
Thiruvananthapuram, Monday 14 November 2011., p.6.]
